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November 3rd, 2008
05:01 pm
Someone that I know and love very much once said, "Do you ever wish that you could be in two places at once? That's my life right now."
Seriously, I don't know what I am going to do, and on top of that, I don't know what I want to do. There are too many people wanting too many things from me right now. Seriously, in the last two weeks I have gotten to experience a little bit of what it is like to have a life not in a constant rush. I get my homework done early (even some extra credit :]), I get to eat an actually dinner (not fast food) with my family, and I can go to bed a little early so that I am not a total zombie the next day. I used to think that the rush of it all was what I lived for, that it was half the fun. But now I am not so sure.
I am completely confused.
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November 1st, 2008
06:03 pm
For the time being, life is good.
Amber is letting me borrow her ughs for another day (SCORE!)
Tomorrow is the teaching day for the musical. (I am very excited)
I have a study hall tomorrow during which I can finish my APUSH, so I can go to bed early tonight.
yea, for the time being, life is good.
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October 31st, 2008
10:24 pm
Ok, so have you ever been competely sure of something one second, and then not so sure the next. Have you ever known exactly who you wanted, and then woken up the next day and changed your mind?
yea, well, welcome to my life.
It sucks so muchcto be so confused and not even have anyone to talk to about it because you are scared they will think you are going senile because of how often and fast you are changing your mind.
Its wierd to sit down nesxt to somebody and have one thought, and then sit next to someone else and have a totally different outlook all of a sudden.
The point is, that I don't know what I want,, I just know that I want something.
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October 27th, 2008
08:04 pm
So I have no idea how to say this, and I am a bit nervous about saying it here...
but...
I think I saw something in those eyes today...
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October 26th, 2008
05:15 pm
This is turning out to be a great week. I walked home with Dominique after school yesterday and we hung out, so that was pretty fricken cool. Today is my first Tuesday in forever that I haven't had color guard. Tomorrow Emily is comming over after school(yea I know, you're jealous) and then on Friday I am comming home and making scary halloween baked goods with my momma before going to Jess's halloween party. Then on Saturday, I am going to Dominique's again for a movie night!!!
wow. I didn't mean for that to turn into me giving you my schedual. sorry. but what the hell, it's my journal and I will write whatever I want in it.
oh boy, can't you see it in my smile?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) content
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October 25th, 2008
09:28 pm
It has been way to long since the last time i updated this. wow. So much in my life has changed over the summer.
Friends that I thought were going to leave stayed.
I am getting back together with old friends that I missed more than words can say.
I got much closer to old friends
...and I made some new great friends.
So much can change in such a little time. I really think that I am starting to figure out who I am, and who I belong with. It feels amazing, like a complete relief. I am spending all of my time with the people that I love, and doing the things I love, like guard and dance. You can call me foolish a niave if you like, but I just have a feeling, that life is going to be great.
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June 17th, 2008
11:38 am
Summer vacation is almost here! whoot!
the math final went well
and i am ready to kill the global regents tomorrow,
but until then, you can find me eating chinese food for lunch :]
Current Location: mom's office
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/wink.gif) crazy
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June 9th, 2008
03:25 pm
so what do you do, when the ideals that you have been living with for months, suddenly change? what does that say about you, that in a matter of days, everything that believe in is suddenly gone.
i don't know exactly what it means, but it scares me.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/confused.gif) confused
Current Music: video yearbook on fuse
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June 7th, 2008
02:41 pm
Ha ha ha, so I am posting this for brittany because she decided that she was gonna try to be cool and nudge me :]
I am actually having a really bad day today though, and I'm not in the mood to talk about it.
so there.
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April 12th, 2008
10:39 pm
I have to face it, there is no way that I am going to be able to do this. I have to start to be independent, but I don't know how.
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April 6th, 2008
12:44 am
If we weren't all crazy, we would all go insane. One of the statments that I am trying to live by now. I have realised that life is way to short to be the leat bit sane. Half the fun is getting people to stare at you and say, "What the hell are they doing?"
just a thought
peace out <3
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March 26th, 2008
04:43 pm
So whats the deal with fathers being able to say whatever the ephing want no matter how much it hurts other people, and then the next day, be able to act like it never happened, and expect everything to be okay?
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January 23rd, 2008
07:09 pm
Oh what to choose. musical or winter guard? musical...winterguard. I am seriously going to rip my hair out of my head. I am so confused. I found out a few days ago, that I have to miss my first winter guard show, for the second musical show. This is horrible. The people in the musical need me, but my guard needs me too. The guard is like my family, I couldn't live with out them. I want to be with them so badly. I want to see the rookie's faces when they first walk on the floor, and when they first walk off it. I want to be able to go with them down to the cafeteria and get some food after we perform, I want to be able to sing to the backstreet boys in the bleachers before we hear our placing. And then I want to be with them when we here what we got, weather it be last place, first place, or anywhere inbetween. I just want to be there, I want to be part of the memories made there.
And then there is the musical. I love to sing, and I know I am going to have so much fun on that stage, Its the adrenilain I get from performing. I have made some really great friends at rehersal. I want to be with them on the stage singing. And in the wings waiting, laughing histaricall bbut trying to diquise it as a cough so we don't get in trouble. I want to be on the stage during the finale screeching a high c at the top of my lungs(although I proobably shouldn't). And I want to be there at the end, so tired that I could drop, but feeling so fufilled that I probably will never be able to fall asleep.
I truely hate this feeling.
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January 18th, 2008
06:20 pm
I've always wanted you, but now I have you, and wish you would just go away.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/angry.gif) aggravated
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January 16th, 2008
07:47 pm
oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to the perfect day, just walk away , ain't no use defending words that you will never say...
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January 3rd, 2008
07:02 pm
So yea, I definitely have not updated my journal since like August. I think it is because I have been so busy. Since school has started up again I have been on a dead run all the time. But yea I am here. It feels really weird typing an entry...I haven't done it in so long.
Today I was filling in my calender for the month, and I almost ran out of ink in my pen! It was ridiculous! I am going to die. On some days I have musical from 9-12, and winter guard from 9-5 I have no idea how I am going to make that work. Then on other days, I have musical from 2:40-5, dance from 5:15 to only 6 because then I have to leave and go to winter guard from 6-9. And if you didn't notice I didn't add in any time for eating, doing homework, or even thinking in there!
Sometimes I think about just quitting something, but all of it means so much to me, I don't think I could ever choose what to give up, and even if I could, once it was gone I feel like I would miss it way too much. And after I am done thinking about that. I think about just quitting everything, and moving far away. Living in like one of those really small towns you see on tv, maybe opening up a bookstore or something, just living a nice quiet life. But then I remember how much I love the city, and how I want to live in NYC, or London, or Chicago, or Montreal, and the compulsion to do absolutaly everything and anything comes rushing back.
Not to sound like I am looking for pitty or anything, but sometimes I come home and just want to cry because I am so tired and I know that I still have to go to dance and musical and winter guard, plus do homework, and then I have to be able to get enough sleep, without waking up every hour remembering things that I have to do or that I forgot to do, and be ready to go in the morning and awake enough to not fall asleep at my desk.
I don't know what I am going to do.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/shock.gif) nervous
Current Music: Heros&Thieves
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August 10th, 2007
09:26 pm
Schedules came today! Yippie!
1. English 10 Honors[Bandla]1,2,3,4,5,6
2. Chorale[Shaver]1,2,3,4,5,6
3. Math A3 Fall[???]1,2,3,4,5,6
3. Math B1 Spring[???]1,2,3,4,5,6
4. Global Studies 10 Honors[Richardson]1,2,3,4,5,6
5. French 3 Honors[Leopold]1,2,3,4,5,6
6. LUNCH
7. Music Theory[Shaver] 1,2,3,4,5,6
8. Gym[Greene]1,3,5
8. Study Hall 2,4
8. Bio Lab[Mishra]6
9. Bio[Mishra]1,2,3,4,5,6
so yeah, I have no idea why I have Greene for a Gy, teacher, I really don't like that. I am gonna have my mom call the school and try to get that changed. I don't want it to mess up my whole schedule though, but I don't know, maybe it won't mess it up that much. I really like having Gym 8th period though.
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July 27th, 2007
10:37 pm
I would just like to state that some people that shall remain un-named need to realise a sense of bounderies and stay out of things that they know nothing about. You had no right to speak to me that way whatsoever. You should prolly try and get all the facts before you go scolding people that you have no control over, and don't have enough authority over to even look in their direction! Never talk to me like that again.
Sorry that a lot of you don't understand this. I don't even know if it made any sense. I am just venting!!!
Current Mood: leave me the hell alone
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July 23rd, 2007
01:00 pm
It's officially over, and I can't believe it. I am so sad. I will never go to another midnight book release at the rivers end (although brit jazz and amber...you guys made this one pretty memorable...i <3 you) I am just so upset. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in my opinion, was the best book yet. J.K. Rowling is a pure geniouse and an artist. I laughed and I cried. And to all you people out there that think that HP is just a book for geeks and haven't read it yet, I urge you to be open minded and read the series, it'll change your life...it changed mine :]
Here's to you Harry Potter!
Current Location: home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) HP is over!!!!
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July 20th, 2007
02:39 pm
Tonight I am going to the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows with Amber. I am so excited. I have just finished reading Half-Blood Prince for the fourth time a matter of mere minutes ago. It gets better every time I read it.
I must say that I am very disappointed in the people that have posted the endings of the book online. It's just mean to spoil it for everyone else. I understand that we are not being "forced" to look at the ending online, but still, it just wasn't right for it to be released. Plus, now, people can read the ending online, and then they go and spoil it for their unsuspecting friends. I heard that the people who posted the ending online were being prosocuted with criminal charges. wow. That's pretty serious. Bet the people who did it weren't expecting that.
I am so very excited that I can't even sit still.
Current Location: my momma's office
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: none
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